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Archive for the ‘Political Satire’ Category

MBE MWBE Minority And Women Owned Business Scams

Monday, March 8th, 2010

Are you a white guy or maybe you know a white guy who owns a business or company that bids on government business and keeps losing out on work to minority and/or women-owned businesses because they get preference on certain contracts?

Yes, we all know how ridiculous these programs are – where a wealthy kid from let’s say, Singapore, comes to America to get his MBA on daddy’s dime. He then gets a gig at Company X who agrees to sponsor his H-1 Visa so he can get a Green Card.

Packing his Green Card and on his way to citizenship, he ventures out on his own and opens up Singapore Sling, the latest in military weaponry – laser-directional stealth slingshots, and your direct competition.

Now with citizenship paperwork in hand, our newly-minted American is bidding on government contracts, and since he is now a certified MBE, the acronym for a minority-owned business, his operation now gets bidding preference over your true-blue American company on certain set-aside contracts.

Let’s review and get this straight: He comes from a country where he is of the majority, not disadvantaged or poor, but comes to the land of milk and honey and low-and-behold, he’s now a disadvantaged minority! All he has to do is make sure all his family money is off-shore in his family’s name and he’s set.

What to do now, Mr. Non-Person-Of-Color? Guess what…you, too, can own one of these Minority-Owned companies, Mr. White Man!

I am assuming you are single and straight.

Go to a mail-order-bride website and choose a girl from a country where the people are yellow, brown or black hued and get hitched. Of course not all brown people, Africans or Asians are considered minorities, so choose wisely.

Next, jump through the ICE hoops and bring her home. Soon thereafter she will get her Green Card and a few years after that she can be a full-fledged US Citizen, although in New York and some other states, she doesn’t even need to be a citizen for MWBE certification.

New York MWBE Program Certifies Non-Citizens

Teach her the ropes so she understands the business model, print up some cards saying she is the President and CEO, give her 51% of the stock, and you are now in a winning position. Your slingshots are now getting even more of a preference over Singapore Sling’s because your wife is not only a minority; she’s a woman, too! The only thing that would make it better was if she happened to be disabled. Hmmm!

Yes, folks, this is how absurd our government’s programs are – a rich SOB from another country can come here for school and just because he happens to be the correct shade on the color bar, he is now a disadvantaged minority – even though he never experienced discrimination, never heard of Rosa Parks and only is familiar with Martin Luther King because of the holiday.

Pathetic.

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Tags: disadvantaged minority, green card, h-1 visa, mbe, minority owned business, mwbe, nylovesmwbe.ny.gov, person of color, resident alien, set aside contracts, women owned business
Posted in Business, Community, Political Satire, Politics, Race and Ethnicity | No Comments »

Dummies Guide to Scamming the United States Government for Immigrants and Foreigners

Thursday, January 28th, 2010

With all the scams being run on the U.S. government, I am surprised there is not a Dummies Guide to Scamming for U.S. Government for foreigners, and immigrants, legal or otherwise.

If you are born in this country, and middle-class, you are out of luck for most everything – even with the Barack Obama for Middle Class crock pot speech last night. Double down on the child care credit, wow, thanks.

Mr. President, $85,000 in Butte, Montana or Lufkin, Texas is decent money, and clearly middle-class. $85,000 in San Francisco, New York, Chicago, or most large metropolitan areas doesn’t allow you to afford child care. The typical pre-school in San Jose runs between $900 and $1250 per month per child. Of course, I can find some un-licensed home where I can drop the kids, so they can have their mind numbed from 10 consecutive hours of TV, interrupted by a bowl of macaroni and cheese for half that price, but I digress.

Dummies Guide to Scamming the United States Government for Immigrants and Foreigners:

Chapter 1: Secure a tourist visa into the United States and travel with your not-yet visibly pregnant wife. Develop “complications” so she (and you) can stay over for the birth of newly-minted American citizen.

Chapter 2: Foreign countries can populate American universities with graduate engineering students. A large percentage will secure jobs with American technology companies after receiving their degrees, on the path to a Green Card, at which time they can begin sponsoring family members.

Upon garnering citizenship, they are able to work for government agencies and labs. Can we play connect the dots?

Currently, the CIO of the United States of America, Vivek Kundra, the person who heads technology for the country was not born on our soil.

CIO Vivek Kundra Was Not Born in America

Chapter 3: Make your way to Mexico from wherever you are, sneak into the country and wait for Democrats to offer amnesty. It’s faster than applying the old-fashioned way for a visa.

Feel free to chime in with ideas for Chapter 4, 5 and 6.

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Tags: barack obama, cio of the united states, dummies guide, middle class child care tax credit, scamming the government, vivek kundra
Posted in Business, Community, Political Satire | No Comments »

Welcome to The People’s Republic of Berkeley

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

Why are some really smart and intelligent people Democrats? It’s a really good question to ponder, and most of these Democrats cannot really tell you why, other than “because.”

I had lunch with a friend recently who is a registered Democrat, and a graduate of U.C. Berkeley, arguably the finest public university in the United States. This person graduated with a degree in Economics, and a grade point average north of 3.5. If we add up the thousands of hours of studying in high school to keep an A-average that is required to gain admittance to Berkeley, unless you are a star athlete or an “under-represented” minority, and the additional thousands of hours to achieve the high class-standing, it is staggering. The level of sheer commitment and dedication is not only admirable it is commendable.

In review: UC Berkeley graduate who studied for thousands of hours over an eight-year period to find a great job, earn a healthy salary, drive a nice car and live in a clean, safe neighborhood is a Democrat. Q: Why? A: Because.

When asked if he felt that it would be correct to have some of his wealth re-distributed to level the playing field of life, there was a prolonged silence.

He asked for clarification, so I said, “I’m sure you know some people from high school that decided to hang out instead of study like you did, who made some dumb life choices and are now janitors, un(der)-employed or out on parole, right?”

He said, “Yeah, so, we all do…what’s the point?”

“Well, they made a choice to hang out on the corner, not study or skip going to class, while you were busting your ass to get in to Berkeley, right”

He said, “Yeah, so…the point?”

“Well, your president, the guy you voted for would like you to help them out, and not just with a hand, but a hand out…and not just once or twice, but basically forever,” I said.

“Essentially, what I am asking is this: Do you believe you should be rewarded for all your hard work, or should you be penalized for succeeding?”

“Rewarded, of course,” he said. “Why the hell should I be penalized for doing the right thing?” he asked.

My point exactly!

Why can’t more democrats and self-professed Obama lovers read between the lines and see reality? Tax investments, money that was already taxed the first time? Over tax and target the very people who start the companies that hire our citizens? This defies all logic!

Should I, he, you, or anyone who does the right thing have to support others until the day they die simply because they are too lazy to look for a job or study for a class? I am not speaking of down-on-their-luck, disabled, handicapped, mentally or physically challenged folks here, but rather those who made bad choices and make no effort to remedy the situation. Government assistance, unemployment benefits and food stamps all have a place in our society to help people and families get back on their feet, not to become a way of life.

In San Francisco, for example, the Community College, City College of San Francisco has campuses all over town which are accessible by bus. They hold day classes, night classes, weekend classes…classes during the summer, spring and fall, and even winter session. If you cannot afford the tuition there are waivers and grants; if you need child care that is also offered at no cost. Pretty sweet deal.

The People’s Republic of Berkeley

Berkeley is a unique place, where freedom of speech means that your speech better be in alignment with their opinions, or you will be shot down (figuratively), assaulted (physically) and censored. I can understand how peer pressure can turn influential 17 year-old freshmen into Kool-Aid drinking liberals, the same way a particular dictator spread goose-stepping throughout a region.

Yes, Berkeley is a place where wearing a “Proud to be a Republican” t-shirt may lead to a physical assault by those who believe in freedom of speech…Welcome to The People’s Republic of Berkeley.

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Tags: city college of san francisco, democrats, freedom of speech, obama lovers, people's republic of berkeley, uc berkeley
Posted in Business, Community, Political Satire, Politics, The Economy | No Comments »

High School Student Suspended for Dressing as Santa Claus

Friday, December 25th, 2009

Let me begin by wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, and now for the Scrooge and Grinch of the Season award.

A kid, Michael Hance at Strath Haven High School in Wallingford, Pennsylvania, just outside Philadelphia, told his principal that he was going to wear a Santa suit to school and hand out candy. She said no, but he did it anyway. They grabbed him and suspended him for defying her.

Strath Haven High School Prinipal MaryJo Yannacone Contact Information

The Strath Haven High School principal’s name is MaryJo Yannacone and her email is myannacone@wssd.org

Outside of this being ridiculous, absurd and downright dumb, let me know if you are in agreement that we should drop MaryJo Yannacone a note and let her know just how we feel, and if you happen to have one of those 11 year-old fruitcakes from Aunt Louise, here is her address:

Strath Haven High School

MaryJo Yannacone

205 S. Providence Road

Wallingford, PA 19086.

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Tags: maryjo yannacone, michael hance, principal, santa claus, strath haven high school, suspended, wallingford pa
Posted in Community, Political Satire, Things That Irritate Me | No Comments »

Made In China Is A Good Thing

Wednesday, November 25th, 2009

I had a discussion recently with my Aunt Vera, a wonderful lady in her 80’s who still lives in the house she and my father grew up in San Francisco. She, like many of her era were raised to believe that unions and union jobs were the way to achieve middle-class lifestyles, and that companies owed lifetime employment to their workers.

As my kids were running around and making more noise in the house than she is used to, she mentioned to me between sips of tea just how horrible it is that all the jobs are being outsourced to India and Mexico, and that there are no good jobs left for hard working Americans.

I asked her what she meant, and she went on to say that all the factory jobs and the jobs that made the Bay Area and our country strong were being sent to places where labor was so cheap. I knew where she was going but I wanted to hear it from her, since if I were in her shoes I’d likely feel the same way. My goodness, MADE IN THE U.S.A. used to mean something is what she was trying to say.

Levi’s 501 Jeans Are Made in Haiti

My dad used to drive cool Thunderbirds and even had a 1965 Firebird. I had an RCA TV in the house growing up, and my Levi’s 501 jeans were made in America, now they are made in Haiti. American cars were cool, pre-Pinto, Vega and Pacer, then the 1970’s happened when Detroit got lazy and Toyota and Datsun took their lunch money.

Levis 501 Jeans Made in Haiti

I started talking a bit about progress, and how technology moves things along for the betterment of not only our society, but also the global economy by allowing workers in countries that do manufacturing to earn good livings so they can buy our Nike sneakers, watch Disney movies and have a Coke with a smile.

Then I asked her how, when she was a kid, she made a phone call. “Didn’t you pick up the ear piece and crank the handle on the side of the box to alert the operator who then asked for the number?” She nodded and I jokingly said, “But those poor operators – they’re all out of work!” She chuckled.

Then I commented on her new TV in the living room, a nice model that was about 32”. I then mentioned the number of TV’s manufactured in the United States was right around zero, and hers’ was likely made in China. (Vizio, a company headquartered in Irvine, California, led by Taiwan-born William (not his given name) Wang, claims to be America’s #1 LCD HDTV Company. Their televisions are made in China.)

She winced.

Then I quickly jumped in and said, “Just think, 20 years ago a 19” Sony TV cost about $500, and today you are getting a 32” TV for the same price that gives you a better picture.”

Made In China Is A Good Thing

As the chat progressed, she got the fact that because some things are made in places like China where the cost of living and the corresponding wages are significantly less, more American people can enjoy things that used to be considered luxury items – like an LCD TV. To really put the matter of TV prices into perspective and why “Made in China” is not a bad thing, chomp on this: A Sony 42” Plasma TV had a MSRP of $7999.00 in 2002. Yes, EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS for a 42” TV, seven short years ago. Today I can buy a 52” Sony TV with a free Blu-Ray DVD Player for about $1500.00, and Costco is selling an off-brand ProScan 40” LCD set for a ridiculously low $499.00!

I would love to buy American-made products, but I am not willing to support the unions that seemingly ruin a good thing whenever they can, in the “best interests” of their rank and file. In other words, I am not willing to pay a large premium to buy goods made in this country, when I know the Sony TV made across the Pacific Ocean is of better quality and price than any comparable set that could be made here.

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Tags: costco, lcd tv, levis 501 jeans, made in america, made in china, made in haiti, pacer, pinto, plasma tv, unions, vega, vizio, william wang
Posted in Business, Community, Political Satire, The Economy | No Comments »

LogicalRepublican.com Appearing on An American Warning Radio

Monday, November 23rd, 2009

Yours truly, Logical Republican, will be a guest on An American Warning Radio, tomorrow, Tuesday November 24^th from 2:30 to 3:00 Central Time.

David Robertson is the show’s host, and I am not sure if we are discussing my point of view on immigration or he will nail me on my gun control stance. Either way it should be an interesting segment!

An American Warning Radio David Robertson

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Tags: An American Warning Radio, david robertson, gun control, illegal immigration, Logical Republican, logicalrepublican.com
Posted in Political Satire, Politics | No Comments »

Republicans For Gun Control

Monday, November 16th, 2009

I’ve gotten into a few jousting matches in the last week regarding gun control, or my statements that I, personally, will likely never need to own a gun. I believe my statement was something like, “I live in San Jose and cannot go hunting at the park where my kids play, and since I don’t feel a need to pack heat when I go grocery shopping, my desire for a Glock is less than minimal.” Apparently this is blasphemy for some. Guess what – gun ownership beliefs do not define political beliefs any more than your religion, or lack thereof!

Let me clear some things up:

1) I am not against gun control in that I feel people should be able to own a firearm. I do not see a need however, for any private citizen to own an assault weapon or any other weapon that fires more than a single bullet per trigger squeeze.

2) I agree with the statement that “guns don’t kill people, people do,” as much as I agree with the statement, “needles don’t inject heroin; addicts do.”

3) Other than target practice, a handgun does not have much use for a private citizen, since you are not going duck hunting with a Glock.

Dirty Harry needs a gun, I don't

Guns don’t kill people, people kill people – stupid people with guns

Since there are a lot of right-winged yahoos out there who think that anyone who thinks like me cannot be a registered Republican, here is a thought…in fact a solution for the rampant crime in our cities that comes from guns…I mean people, since guns cannot think or commit crimes. Ready, Charlton Heston followers…here goes:

Moving forward (that means from this point on, for you under-educated folk), all handguns sold in this country will be test-fired upon sale, and that bullet and accompanying ballistics will be entered into a data base. Ballistics, for those who are not familiar with the term, is like a gun’s fingerprints.

With the gun’s fingerprint on file, it will be less likely that a gun owner will be inclined to commit a crime. Ah, but what if the gun is “lost” or stolen, and “another person” does something unsavory with this gun, you ask? Well, maybe you don’t have the gun anymore, but at least if a crime is committed and a bullet recovered, we know where to start the search for the criminal – your front door.

My idea still gives you Second Amendment rights, but may help solve crimes as older guns fall by the wayside. So go ahead, let me have it…any argument for gun ownership other than hunting, target practice or protecting a home isn’t going to get very far!

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Tags: ballistics, charlton heston, dirty harry, gun control, Republican, second amendment
Posted in Political Satire, Politics | 4 Comments »

Union Workers Are Lazy and Helpless

Friday, November 13th, 2009

This past week, there have been several large companies announcing layoffs because of drooping stock prices, lower than expected sales, or simple job overlap. That’s business in the real world, where if the company needs to meet the bottom line or appease shareholders, the appropriate cuts are made. Companies do what is best for the company – end of discussion.

When a city government lays off workers, union workers, all hell breaks loose. Let’s see, cities are broke and many in deficit mode due to over-bloated benefits and pension packages, they support illegal immigrants’ health care and social services all while crimes go unsolved and potholes unfilled, and there is griping over layoffs?

Yes, Mr. Shareholder, we donated $7 million to the Guatemalan orphan relief fund and upped our warehouse manager’s benefit package to include his grandparents in Burma, and lost $27 million last quarter, and no, we cannot lay anyone off because that would be unfair. Can you imagine?!

Sprint, Electronic Arts and Microsoft Cut Jobs

Sprint lays off 2000 workers and Electronic Arts cuts 1500 from their force, and since there is no union involved, Nancy Pelosi is not butting in asking for better severance or government assistance. Heck, even Microsoft eliminated 800 jobs, but that didn’t even ring a bell or get a mention in the paper or evening news. These are technology jobs, the theory goes, so these people will just go to another tech company or start a company, right?

Actually, that is right. That is correct because that is the way technology jobs go…one company goes up another slips and so goes the workforce. It’s not the end of the world when Oracle buys PeopleSoft or Siebel System and lays off 10,000 because they bounce back or decide to start a company themselves.

But heaven forbid, the City of San Francisco decides to lay off 500 workers to help close a $438 million budget deficit and the world stops. Yes, you read correctly, San Francisco has a $438 million budget deficit! How is that even possible? They tax the hell out of businesses, San Franciscans pay the highest sales tax rates in the country, then there are hotel, airport, gas, payroll, parking and other assorted taxes, and they are still $538.00 short per resident.

Apparently Union Workers Lack Drive and Ambition

Apparently city and union workers are helpless, lack drive and ambition, and have no visible levels of talent, and a layoff will cause them to wilt away and die. Good for Gavin Newsom for not protecting these coddled workers from the chopping block as the some members on the Board of Supervisors wanted.

Losing a job sucks, we all know that, but (bleep) happens, and you deal with it. The trans-gendered union boss, Robert Haaland of the Local 1021, stated¸”This is about fairness and equity,” since most of the affected workers are women and minorities. OK, so make it more fair and equitable – lay off more workers and make them straight, male and majority.

Transgendered Union Boss Robert Haaland

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Tags: city of san francisco, electronic arts, gavin newsom, helpless, job cuts, layoffs, lazy, local 1021, nancy pelosi, peoplesoft, robert haaland, sprint, union jobs
Posted in Business, Community, Political Satire, The Economy | 2 Comments »

Republicans Are Stupid…Too

Sunday, November 8th, 2009

Stupidity is equal opportunity. There are stupid Democrats, stupid Republicans, stupid men, women and kids. Fat idiots and skinny alike, and there are midget morons as well as very tall morons.

Some Republicans Are Idiots

I came across one Republican on Facebook last week who decided I was in the Stupid category because I disagreed with him on gun ownership and gun control.

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

I told him that I don’t need a gun and likely never will. I live in San Jose and cannot go hunting at the park where my kids play, and since I don’t feel a need to pack heat when I go grocery shopping, my desire for a Glock is less than minimal.

This set him off. Not only did he call me stupid, he went on this rampage:

“OMG I cannot understand how you can be so stupid. You and this site with it’s comments. Just think about this- the only reason you and I can put our thoughts on this or any other site is because of the 2nd amendment. The only reason our home land, the USA, has never been invaded is because we have the right to own guns, the only reason you have freedom of speech is because we have the right to own guns, the only reason you get to work where you wish, shop where you wish, watch movies made by idoits(Chris Rock), see any doctor you wish and pee in you own home is all because of the 2nd Amendment and our guns. If you had half a brain you would do a little research of the countries in this world who do not have the right to own guns and you will discover just how much there crime rates have risen and oh by the way Germany abolished gun ownership and lets see who took power– Nazi’s and they killed millions of people just like you. Keep thinking the way you do an you will find yourself clawing you way to the top of a pile of dead people. GUNS do not KILL people. PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE. That would be you–Yoonsun and Logical Gop. Idiots. I am a true God fearing American, my father fought and was wounded in WWII and I fought in VietNam both of us did so gladly so you could say whatever you like. And guess what we would do it all again for FREEDOM. GOD, FAMILY, COUNTRY are the only things that matter. I you do not like it then please leave and donot let the door hit you in the ass as you go. IDIOTS.”

I congratulated and thanked him for his service to his country, but asked a very pointed question: Please tell me one instance in history when a private citizen has stopped an enemy invasion of the United States with his own firearm? I also suggested he use a spell check – the post is verbatim.

He had no response and deleted me as a friend on Facebook.

Either I am really stupid for not defending our country with my own MX8 assault rifle and keeping Silicon Valley free of invading troops or my opening statement is true…stupidity is equal opportunity.

XM8 Assault Rifle

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Tags: 2nd amendment, assault rifle, democrats, glock, gun control, idiots, mx8, republicans, silicon valley, stupid
Posted in Community, Political Satire, Politics | 3 Comments »

Why are Liberals Angry and Unhappy?

Monday, October 19th, 2009

This is purely an observation, but liberals seem to be rather unhappy. I was almost run over in the grocery store parking lot last evening by an overweight woman driving a Korean car with an Obama/Biden bumper sticker. When I raised my arms as if to say, “hey, I have the right-of-way,” she flipped me off. Support the unions but drive foreign, I say. I don’t support the unions and I drive a Saturn. Hybrid, even.

Last summer I was in Chicago walking from the Navy Pier back to my hotel on Michigan Avenue when I was approached by college kid who asked if I would donate to help support the Obama campaign. I asked him why he supports Obama and he said that Obama would help students like him afford college.

I told him that I worked and took out loans to help me get through my undergrad and post-grad studies, plus I got some grants that helped pay for ramen and macaroni and cheese. Grants wouldn’t do much he went on to say, because he is attending a school back east and it was rather expensive.

When I suggested he attend a State school instead of a private, liberal arts college, he told me to expletive off.

A friend on Facebook just posted: To all the youth who can not seem to find their way to remove their hat or stop talking during the national anthem, remember, it’s my husband who is out there fighting so you can be disrespectful!!!

Our freedom is not free, people. College hipsters in Berkeley can sport a Che Guevara t-shirt around campus, but I doubt a Cuban student can wear a JFK tank top around town. He’d likely get a stiff reprimand.

Sean Penn and Danny Glover can pimp for Hugo Chavez because that is their right as Americans, but Jose Venezuelan with a Reagan Rocks headband may come into some difficulty with local law enforcement.

Bosom buddies - Glover and Chavez

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Tags: angry, che guevara, danny glover, hugo chavez, liberals, obama, sean penn, unhappy
Posted in Political Satire, Politics | 1 Comment »

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Archive for the ‘Political Satire’ Category

Dummies Guide to Scamming the United States Government for Immigrants and Foreigners:

The People’s Republic of Berkeley

Strath Haven High School Prinipal MaryJo Yannacone Contact Information

Levi’s 501 Jeans Are Made in Haiti

Made In China Is A Good Thing

Guns don’t kill people, people kill people – stupid people with guns

Sprint, Electronic Arts and Microsoft Cut Jobs

Apparently Union Workers Lack Drive and Ambition

Some Republicans Are Idiots